SASSY and Humble

Thursday, July 26, 2018  It’s Thursday, 11:13 a.m., I’m sitting in my office freezing my toes off; my computer is working as fast as a tortoise walks, so I decide to shut it down. Hmmm, this seems like a good time to take my lunch. I gather my stuff, purse, sunglasses, keys, cell phone and my drinking cup and by that I mean WATER drinking cup, but if I were to be honest you can find Orange Fanta in there once in a great while. As I stroll to my car I wonder where I’m going to take myself, hmmmmmm YES, I think I will go to Rancho Market to carouse the aisles. As I salsa my way down the aisles gathering ingredients to make my famous carne asada I spot MANGO CHAMOY! Whaaaaaaaat? I haven’t had this scrumptious treat since relocating back to Utah…I must buy a tub. Driving back to work I cannot wait to flop at my desk so I can open the container and delicately take one out and place it in my mouth. Hmmmmm, EYES POPPING OUT, dear Jesus what is that? My tongue is burning; MY – LIP...

Monday, July 23, 2018     The Mysterious Bag of Red Vines Do you ever wonder why there’s a Red Vine in your hand being raised to your mouth? I mean, where did it come from? It didn’t just jump into your purse, open itself and one by one leap between your fingers, did it? Did I drive to Smith’s Marketplace on purpose? Well of course I did, I needed creamer for my coffee. However, I don’t recall reaching into the bin of those delicious bendy red straws labeled 2 for $4.00 and I would have certainly NOTICED them as I emptied my grocery items on the moving belt toward the cashier, right? As I ponder this perplexing question another vine finds its way into my hand and up into my mouth, yet the question remains…”How did this bag of Red Vines get into my purse.”

Saturday July 14, 2018 Lagoon Amusement Becca vs. The Cannibal (The Worlds Scariest Ride)    My view from the parking lot  I did it...I - DID - IT!!! I stood in line, shaking in my sandals, channeling my Lamaze breathing while trying to stay calm. I closed my eyes took a deep cleansing breath and slowly opened them when I heard a car pull up to our section. As soon as I got a clear view of what the ride car looked like up close I FREAKED! I looked at Bob and whispered, “Where is the chest harness?” He said, “Babe, it’s a lap harness – it’s better, SAFER than a chest harness.” NOPE, I can’t do this – not without a chest harness!!! Where do I put my fucking hands? What do I hold on to? NOPE NOPE, time for me to escape! As I was about to turn around and nervously take the walk of shame back down the windy path to the entrance Bob grabbed my arm and pulled me into the car with him. “I can't do this; I CANNOT DO THIS, THIS DEATH TRAP DOES NOT COME EQUIPPED WITH A CHES...