KILLING IT AT SNAP FITNESS!!!

 

Saturday July 29, 2018

Today I got up and was semi forced to go to the gym with my personal trainer, and by semi forced he simply asked, “Ready for our workout?” I mean, is anyone REALLY ready for a workout? On the weekend? In the morning? I immediately got irritated because how dare he ask me a stupid question – MEN!!!

My workout started out on the treadmill; incline 7.5 (you know, to warm up) speed 2.4 for 5 minutes then increase incline to 9.0 speed 3.5 for 35 minutes! Now please…let me share with you, I am a 5’4” sort of heading into the chubby realm and I’m NOT 25 anymore and he wants me to do what? I will ONLY agree to this if there is an oxygen mask near by or this lil gal is NOT participating in these shenanigans.

As I get situated on this damn machine in which I have to say I have a love / hate relationship with but if given a choice between that and the elliptical machine I instantly become a treadmill LOVER!!! (Go treadmill!) ANYWAY, I notice my trainer stepping on the elliptical machine behind me – WELL WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THIS! I won’t be able to cheat! There is NO decreasing the incline or speed – there is no strolling through 40 minutes of suspended time (YOU ALL KNOW TIME ON THE TREADMILL HALTS TO HALF SPEED!) WAIT…what is that – is he smiling? He IS smiling as he carouses on the elliptical machine – LOOK AT HIM GO…good Lord it looks like he’s actually enjoying it!

The fan is pointed directly at me, my movie is picked out (Magnificent Seven), my earbuds are securely tucked into my ear holes and now all I have to do is push “Quick Start” OKAY Becca, push Quick Start, you can do it! AS the belt starts to slowly come to life I feel a bit of an energy jolt – okay, I’ve got this – I’ve totally got this, after all this isn’t my first workout with this gym nut – we’ve been working out for four months, but it ALWAYS shocks me that he chooses, just for fun, to workout on the WEEKENDS. I was under the impression the weekends were for couch potatoing with your sweetie, watching DVR shows recorded and snacking on coffee chip ice cream and Cheetos! I have been so lovingly informed, “They’re not.”

Dear heavens, I can’t breathe, why can’t I breathe, I’ve only been on this thing for 16 minutes! Is that right, 16 minutes? I move my gaze to the stats lit up on the console of this contraption and surly I’m not seeing right – I wipe the sweat dripping in my eyes and refocus, this C A N N O T   B E   R I G H T – it’s ONLY been 7 minutes, shoot me now!! Okay, focus Becca…FOCUS! I avert my eyes back to my movie breathing as if I was running a marathon, sweat dripping in my eyes – SHIT what was that running down my back, was that sweat too – FOCUS BECCA, FOOOOOOCUS on the task at hand, 33 more minutes of this torture.

WHOA…WHOA…WHOA – what is happening? Are we done? It’s been 20 minutes, he’s getting off the elliptical, does this mean I’m done? He’s walking over to me smiling his cute little smile; I smile back as he comes to a stop on the side of the treadmill, “20 more minutes and then you can do the ab machine and abductor machine – if you want you can throw in some shoulder exercises.” He slaps my ass and saunters away as my breath catches. “WHAT DID THAT LITTLE MAN JUST SAY TO ME?”   

To say I was irritated is an understatement! Who is he to tell me what to do – I’m here aren’t I? I’m making an enormous effort to stay upright considering it’s a Saturday morning, aren’t I? This feeling of irritation got me through the last 20 minutes. I stopped the machine trying to catch my breath, while I switched from my tablet to phone (Spotify). I tucked the phone in my sports bra while salsa music played lifting my spirits. As I stepped down onto the ground I nearly collapsed, literally my legs were Jell-O. I stoop for a moment as if I meant to do what I just did, stretching and when I felt more secure I continued walking toward the cubbies to put my tablet away and while walking back to the treadmill I plucked two wipey sheets out of its container and walked back over to the machine, wiped it down, grabbed my water bottle and walked to the weight machines. Where is he? Did he leave? OOOH, there he is, smiling and lifting away. I completed the abductors with all the dignity I could muster considering how this machine works then I skipped to the ab machine (OKAY, THAT’S A LIE) settled in and completed that machine. By now I am soaked with sweat and to me it’s the grossest thing ever. I am a girley girl through and through – me and sweat…NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!

I’m quietly making my way to the front to grab my tablet, throw away the wipe clothes and to toss the towel in the hamper when none other than Mr. Trainer comes up behind me. “Hey Babe, you did awesome today, I’m so proud of you.”

I suppose there is good and bad in having your partner in crime as your trainer and although at times I want to smack him; most of the time we laugh through the sweat, the pain, the aches, my insecurities and doubts. He is the BEST kind of trainer, he’s my best friend, my other half, my babe!